The deadline for applying to the graduate diploma is June 1, which means I have seven days left to decide whether I want to go for it. I think I'm going to need them.
It was my dad's birthday yesterday. My father was always pushing me to learn; he didn't really mind what I chose, as long as I kept going. He thought I was a smart girl, and wanted me to do something with my life. I guess he wanted me to make sure to keep as many doors open as possible until I chose what was right for me.
In that sense, I partially failed him, in that in finding myself I started and stopped along a number of paths before figuring out my place, and he didn't get to see that. But I'm pretty sure he'd be proud now, and I'm sure he'd see it as fitting that I finally stumbled back to something my mother had herself once studied. I always did remind him of her.
I'm also sure he would have no doubt that I should apply. Unfortunately, doubt is all I have right now. I'm really starting to feel exhausted from coming home at ten o'clock twice a week; I also have to consider the cost, and the strain it puts on my relationship with Pat just never being there, or available...
My gut tells me to wait. Besides, I already work as a translator, and I freelance, so it's not like I'm wanting for work. But given the issues with this last class I'm taking, is my gut really reliable, or is it just my instinct of self-preservation saying I shouldn't sign up for more (even though this teacher does not teach at the graduate level)?
I have a few more days to think about it.
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