tonight, they dance

Wrestlemania 24 tonight...here's my take (disclaimer: the following is entirely IMHO):

BunnyMania: Sadly, I don't really care about the outcome. I should, but I don't.

I love Maria's original character, but I think she's really been lost behind Santino. Her "standing up to him" was weak, and let's just not mention her ring skills. For the face time she gets, she's way behind in wrestling ability. Playboy is the only reason we will see her tonight.

Ashley caught my eye early in the Diva Search, and I was pleased to see her take pride in developing her wrestling ability. But between being injury-prone and how she's just underused for seemingly political reasons, there's not much momentum.

Melina was the only diva in recent WWE history who made me sit up and take notice (I mean, with an entrance like that...) I have great hope for this diva, but again, they have so little to work with. You need two to tango, and all the wrestling divas are heels.

Which brings me to Beth Phoenix. Like a smaller, prettier early Chyna. With no competition.

If I have to pick a side, I'll go for "if it wasn't scripted" - Melina and Beth Phoenix.


Finlay vs. JBL: I don't think I ever have or ever will root for the JBL character. (The APA's Bradshaw was a different story, though...) And JBL has been running roughshod over Finaly for weeks. Time for revenge. It's a Belfast Brawl. Finlay, hopefully with an assist from Hornswoggle.


24-man battle royal: Don't watch ECW regularly. Hard to tell. From the picture, the only ones that make sense are the "big men" who have been fighting individually lately (now, don't get me started on the presence of Chuck Palumbo..."I'm not worthy," anyone?) Is there someone in the group that has a story going with Chavo that would make sense? Don't know. So I'll go with my personal favourite from the bunch, one who has been sorely underutilized lately, lost in the recent influx of big guys: Kane.


Batista vs. Umaga: For a while, Smackdown was Raw's "minor league." A few drafts later, that question is now wide open for debate. Batista and Umaga have been going back and forth over the past weeks. Bonus points to Umaga for putting up with Regal calling him "You-man-ga", and for using the mike for the first time last week. But I'll still take the looker: Dave.


Money in the Bank: This is the one can can really go any which way. I'll go with Kennedy, just because Jericho and MVP are holding belts. Dark horse to CM Punk.


Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels: Anyone who saw the Hall of Fame ceremony and who thinks Ric Flair stands a chance is a hopeless optimist. Goodbye Naitch, thanks for the memories. HBK.


Money Mayweather vs. Big Show: Here, I'm torn. I'm really rooting for the Big Show (glad to see you back!), but politically, it just doesn't make sense. So we go with the major upset and the heel win with Mayweather.


Edge vs. Undertaker: Not even worth discussing. Sorry, dude, tonight you lose (but you still reek of awesomeness!) All together now, roll your eyes back in your head, and bow down to the almighty streak, and a new World Heavyweight champion. 16-0. Undertaker.


Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. John Cena: Here's another match whose story can develop credibly any which way. I think Randy's had his run, if only in that he the poorest of the three as a spokesperson for the WWE. I can see Cena recapturing the gold he never really lost, but I think it's been long enough since we bowed down to the king of kings. HHH.


That's where I stand, and time will tell how close I got.

In the meantime, in six words: Jeff Hardy, wish you were here.